Yet, I didn’t. I went back home, fell into old routines, and mistook comfort and familiarity for emotional growth. Then, in October 2018, we found out we were expecting. I was immediately shaken. So much self-doubt, guilt, and shame flooded my mind state and I didn’t know how to be a good mom when I was barely passing as a functioning adult. My husband’s military contract was up and we had no plans for the Bigfoot I was social distancing before it was cool camping shirt and by the same token and future. I wanted nothing more than to be back with my family and have my mom show me everything was going to be all right.
Bigfoot I was social distancing before it was cool camping shirt, hoodie, tank top, sweater and long sleeve t-shirt
When Christmas rolled around, it came time to tell our families and I was so afraid. I felt if we announced it on Christmas, it would ruin the Bigfoot I was social distancing before it was cool camping shirt and by the same token and holiday or bring judgment down on us for bringing life into the world when our own lives were falling apart. I begged my husband to tell everyone discreetly. I felt if I could downplay the pregnancy, I could downplay the growing coldness of a void I couldn’t name. Christmas was no longer a safe space for me and instead, it became filled with arguments and expectations. I felt lost.